Two friends celebrate motherhood in a similar way, having adopted their children.
“All these amazing children have their remarkable gifts. They are God made and even on the hardest mornings and my grumpiest state, just remembering that they are little gifts of God that I’ve been given the opportunity to bring up puts me back on the right foot!”
For Kate Palmer, adoption was a subject never far away from her thoughts as an adult. She always felt she would like to adopt as well as having birth children with a partner, but after a long period of being single, Kate says, “Slowly I came round to the conclusion that actually one parent is still better than no parent and now I can see there’s loads of advantages to being a single parent.”
Revd Hayley Matthew’s path to also adopting two children has come alongside her calling as a Priest and she feels deeply the words of the Bible where we are called to look after the widows and orphans. For Hayley it has been a long process but, “When it came to the final decision, I really relied on God and I just prayed that the children would be able to adapt to a clergy home – and they have. They are an absolute blessing.”
Kate acknowledges that she did a lot of praying in her twenties around the subject. “I was praying to God to either let me find the right person or let me be happy being single - I knew pretty well which one I wanted! But actually looking back I can say I am happy being single and there are many advantages. It doesn’t mean I won’t meet someone in the future but I realised I was completely content – it’s just who I am. But I couldn’t be happy not being a Mum, I knew that was missing.
The adoption process is not an easy one but as Hayley notes, “So many women are holding out for a Christian husband and sometimes it’s just not going to happen. I would say, don’t wait – if you feel that you are a mother there are children out there who need a loving mother - or father and although it’s an ideal to have both, to see how the children have flourished and blossomed, having one parent is good enough. And anyway, you are not doing it on your own - you’ve got God with you as well!”