Karen Dean, Foundations for Ministry course participant and member of St James and Emmanuel, Didsbury, has been on a journey of transformation. She has gone from a life affected by addiction to one of hope and healing through finding faith. Here, she shares her experience of finding God in a time of darkness and the profound impact this has had on her.
“Life was awful before coming to faith”, Karen recalls. “When I first came to the church, I was very poorly with addiction, something I had struggled with for 32 years. I had tried treatment, but it had failed, and then one day I came to church and it felt like they were speaking directly to me about my experience.”
This happened in 2018, and Karen’s faith journey started from there. It wasn’t long before she had gotten to know Revd Lisa Battye, Vicar of St James’ at the time, who proved to be instrumental in helping Karen on her journey to recovery. One particularly pivotal moment came when Lisa arranged for Karen to attend a pilgrimage to the shrine of Our Lady in Walsingham, which Karen describes as a turning point in her life.
“We went down to Walsingham with around 25 people on the coach, and the experience I had was life-changing”, she says. “I can’t explain it - I started crying uncontrollably while I was there, and God reassured me that it was going to be alright. It felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. That was the beginning of a turning point for me.”
After this, Karen started attending church regularly, and says she was embraced by the church community completely. “The church paid for me to go on another retreat, and Lisa lent me waterproofs for it – I couldn’t believe she was being so kind to me. Revd Nick Bundock, now Bishop of Glasgow and Galloway, also had a big influence on my journey. His preaching and compassion helped me a lot, and he really brought God to life for me. Nick, Lisa and Steven Penny (Reader at St James and Emmanuel and Karen’s mentor for the Foundations for Ministry course) all bring God to life for me in a way that is understandable.”
Karen is now fully involved in church life and says the church community is hugely beneficial to her well-being. “The fellowship is helping me to trust people again. People tell you about themselves and share stories, and we are a support system for each other,” she explains. “In the seven years I’ve been there I’ve had nothing but love and support and grace from St James and Emmanuel. The Cathedral and the diocese have been amazing too, so thank you - I wouldn’t be here without them.”
Today, as well as sitting on the PCC, Karen helps to run the Bible study group, the coffee and chat group and the holiday group, and is also a member of St James’ choir. More recently, she took part in the Foundations for Ministry course and is discerning her sense of calling to ordination with guidance and support from Revd Canon Rachel Watts, Director of Vocations.
Karen ultimately hopes that through her experiences and transformation, she might be able to help others who are battling addiction. She says, “I use my recovery bible every day, and I have not smoked or used any substances in years - God has turned it all around for me. My hopes for the future are to help somebody like me to get better through God’s love - to help make someone as poorly as I was, well again, and for this to have a knock-on effect of them helping someone else.
“If I had to give advice to someone who is in the position that I was in, I would say seek help, pray, go to church, and don’t suffer on your own. The biggest thing I’ve learned is that we need each other; God wants us all to be together. As addicts, we are defaulted to tell lies, but God has helped me to tell the truth.”
Learn more about the Foundations for Ministry and other available courses here.
Addiction help and support can be found here.