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Helping families prepare for a baptism is partly about setting their minds at ease about the day itself. Whether you are meeting for just one session or several times, on this page you can find suggestions to make sure this is the start of a lifetime of exploring faith at home and with the church family.
Preparation
Clergy must prepare families (parents/guardians and godparents) for a baptism service, and be satisfied that they understand the lifetime commitment of the baptism promises. How this is done and for what length of time is at the discretion of the minister taking the service, but be aware that the Canons are clear the baptism should not be ‘unduly delayed’.
Rehearsing is good!
Families are often very worried about the practicalities of the christening day, anxious about where to stand and what to do. Holding a rehearsal is a good way to make sure these questions are answered. Those parents who have been married in church will be familiar with this idea, and it can be a great opportunity to meet others and to pray with the family before the day.
But of course, baptism preparation needs to be more than a rehearsal.
And it’s good to talk
It’s a good idea to help parents think about why they are choosing to have their child baptised. Explore some of their family traditions, their own experiences of faith, whether through school, church clubs or the church itself. Talk about what positive memories they have and why they want this for their child.
Remember that friends and family are important, so take time to learn about their networks, particularly talking about godparents and the qualities they are expecting.
This can lead to a discussion about what values matter to them, which opens up the possibility of a conversation about what difference it will make to them as a family choosing Christian values.
Parents also want to know practical things so try and give some specific ideas about praying with and for a child, what Bible stories to read, how to help children when life doesn’t go well, or when they do something wrong. Talk about how your church involves children and helps them on a journey of faith, teaching them that a loving God is always with them.
If you have been given permission, ensure you have their details so you can keep in touch afterwards, and invite them to church events and services after the day of the baptism.
Helpful resources
Every parish will have its own methods of baptism preparation and your diocese may have guidelines and ideas, but these are just a few examples of resources available:
- We Welcome You – a ready-made, three-part course to help prepare parents and godparents bringing children for baptism
- My Baptism Book – suitable for a child aged 2-5
- Timothy Bear and the baptism box
Data Collection
Due to the nature of baptism and the commitment made by the candidates, or the parents and godparents on their behalf, maintaining contact with the family after the service to support them on the journey of faith is especially relevant. When you collect the family’s personal data to administer the service, make sure to check you have their permission for this ongoing contact.
The Life Events Diary feature on the Church Organiser tool can help you do this lawfully and support you with many other administrative tasks associated with baptism services.
Godparents
The Church of England Canons outline that no fewer than three godparents must be present at the baptism of each child. At least two of these should be the same gender as the child.
The Canons also state that ‘when three cannot conveniently be had, one godfather and godmother shall suffice’, although this is to be taken as the exception rather than the norm. Parents/guardians may be godparents for their own children, provided that the child will have at least one other godparent.
Zoom, Skype, FaceTime and other ways of connecting people to live church services are wonderful ways of involving others who are too far away, or too unwell, to attend. However, a minimum of two godparents must be physically present at the baptism service. Additional godparents can, however, take part in baptism preparation via video conferencing if necessary, as long as at the baptism the congregation is able to see all those who take on the responsibilities of godparents and can clearly hear their responses. You can read the Church of England's legal opinion on the presence of godparents at baptisms here.
Official godparents must be baptised and preferably confirmed too, but if this is not possible, the Canons allow for people who are baptised but unconfirmed to be godparents.
People who are chosen by the parents/guardians to be godparents but who are not baptised can still be involved in the service as supporting friends. They may be called ‘honorary godparents’, but their names are not entered in the baptism register.
FAQs
Can I baptise a child who doesn’t live in the parish?
Yes. However, you must seek the goodwill of the family’s parish priest before you perform the baptism in your parish.
Do the parents/guardians of infants being baptised have to be baptised themselves?
There is no requirement for the parents/guardians to be baptised. But they should feel able to support the child in their faith journey, and this may eventually lead to conversations about their own baptism.
May I charge for the baptism certificate?
No fees are payable for baptism itself or for entering the baptism in the Register of Baptisms. The fee prescribed in the table of parochial fees for a certificate issued at the time of baptism is payable only if a certified copy of the entry in the register is asked for and provided. No fee is payable by the family for a commemorative card.
Is there a maximum limit to the number of godparents?
There is no official maximum number, but deciding on what is practical on the day of the service and in terms of the ongoing role of godparents may be something to cover in baptism preparation. There is helpful information for parents about choosing godparents on the Church of England’s christenings website.
Is there a minimum age for godparents?
There isn’t a minimum age, but the chosen godparent must be mature enough to understand the responsibilities they are taking on.
Can someone be a godparent by proxy?
There is no provision in the Church of England for ‘godparents by proxy’. A person can only be an official godparent if they participate and make promises at the service.
As they are already making promises on behalf of the child, to have another person making promises on their behalf confuses who is making promises on behalf of whom.
Someone has contacted us about reversing or cancelling their baptism – is that possible?
Sadly, some people may contact your church to enquire about whether their baptism can be annulled, and whether their details can be removed from the baptism register. Neither of those requests can be fulfilled. As permanent historical and legal records of fact, baptism registers must not be changed. The enquirer can be informed that the registers are merely a record of an event that took place, and not an indication of church affiliation or membership.
Someone has contacted us asking if their choice of godparents can be changed years after the baptism has happened. Is that possible?
There can be no repeat baptism service once it has taken place, and there’s no official way to change the godparents. The baptism register mustn't be changed.
However, if a family finds themselves without the support of their chosen godparents, they are free to ask others in their life to take on a similar role unofficially.